I Am Moodiness, Defined!

I do hate that part of my personality, too! I can feel myself going from happy to moody in a matter of minutes, but can't seem to do anything to stop myself. Take, today. Carol got home from work at around 11:30AM and I went out to the vehicle, hopped in, all smiles and light. We went and ate at the Chinese Buffet, which always makes me happy and then we went to P&C to do a bit of grocery shopping. Now, somewhere in the two minute ride from the Chinese Buffet to the grocery store, I became bitchy and moody! Nothing happened, nothing was said....I just went from sunshine and light to darkness and mean!

Poor Carol, I bet she could punch me right in the face, sometimes! I swear, I can actually feel myself becoming moody, but have absolutely no control over it. I can't make myself or will myself to stop. Oh, and if I suddenly should lose complete control of my temper.....the nastier and meaner I became, the more I feel good! I swear to God, it's almost orgasmic at times! LOL I feel almost separated from my body and can see this totally unreasonable person standing there and I want to punch myself!

Sometimes, I could laugh at myself, if I wasn't so pissed. The moods can last just a few minutes or hours. Today, I think it lasted an hour or so, but gee, if I can't even stand myself, can you imagine how poor Carol must feel?! I give her credit, she never holds it against me and I'm not so sure I could be as forgiving.

When moodiness was being handed out, I must have thought it was something really neat and jumped in line, twice! I'm sure I get this wretched personality trait from both sides of my family. Dad, more so, but I think Mom can be moody, as well. I think my youngest brother shares this trait as well. We will occasionally share these horrific mood swings with each other and I find it hysterical when he tells me about his mood swings.....I know our better halves probably find this side of us a horrible cross to bear, so God love 'em for putting up with us. I know we don't mean to be moody, I think we're basically decent people, but find me on one of those mood swing days and I bet you'd want to punch me, too!