Mikey.....

Ten days ago, my younger brother Mikey ended his life. Even sitting here typing this and reading it, I'm having a tough time wrapping my head around the fact that he's not longer here, with us. I know I will move forward and the pain will eventually ease, I'm sure, but at this point in time, I still can't imagine life without, Mikey.

Mikey battled demons most of his life, but especially when he became a teen. He drank, did drugs and was in trouble a good deal of the time. Still, I never could give up on him, because he didn't give up on himself. We had your typical big-sister-little-brother relationship, we'd argue, scream and fight, but we always knew there was love.....at least I am hoping he knew how much I loved him. I think he knew.

I had a friend comment once at how great she thought it was that Mikey, Skeet and I always hugged, kissed and said we loved each other, whenever we saw each other and whenever we spoke on the phone. I never gave it much thought, because we grew up doing that and neither of my younger brothers ever went through a stage where they were embarrassed by showing affection. I'm going to miss that mjost about Mikey....his hugs, kisses, how he always told me he loved me and his laugh.

I wish you would have called me, Mikey.....I may not have been able to stop you from doing what you did, but I could have told you one more time, how much I loved you and how very special you were to me.